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| Water Day! |
Our next day in Waikiki was set aside as a water day. Time to play on the beach and in the
pool! We gathered our essentials, bought
a couple of bamboo sand mats and crossed the street onto Waikiki Beach. It
didn't take us long to find a suitable spot, right next to the judges’
tent for the surfing competition being
held this weekend. |
| If she can, I can! |
I have always wanted to surf, but in the past my eyesight
prevented me from doing so. However,
since my cataract surgery I can now see reasonably well without my
glasses. Okay, I might hit a car or two
on the freeway, but I can see surf boards and such. Anyway, watching all these dudes and wahinis
glide around on their surfboards was inspiring.
Even their falls looked graceful.
And just offshore there was a class where they were teaching kids as
young as five years old.
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| Headed out! |
The more I watched, the more certain I was: I could surf and today was gonna be the day
for me to become a surfer! I told Mona
what I wanted to do and she was there for me.
“Go for it!” were the words I heard. (It was either that or, “What about
your back?!?!”) I rented my board and
headed for the water! About three feet
in I stopped and strapped the board to my ankle. I had learned this from watching. (Old Hawaiian saying, “Observation key to
learning.”) The board and I were now
one!
From observation, I knew that I now needed to lie down on
the board and gracefully paddle my way out to the “the line up” (dude talk for
the line where the surfers line up waiting for a good wave). But first, I had to make it past the breakwater
which was about 20 yards out. I gave the
board a big push and glided up onto the board and began to paddle. Or so I thought. The reality is that those boards pivot and
spin like a whirligig and perfect balance is required. (Old Hawaiian saying, “Uke mali mali haui
lanai” which means “Balance is key to happy sailing.”) At that point my balance was totally absent,
much less perfect; hence my first big gulp of salt water and my first of many
views of the board from beneath the board.
I spit out the water and clawed my way back onto the back of the
board. I was still in only 5 feet of
water and had another 10 yards to get past the breaker. After only two more dunkings I was past the
breaker. I was on my way!
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| I'm out there somewhere ....probably under my board |
Now for the trek to the lineup. Since it was so far out there I figured I’d
have plenty of time to work on my balance.
I’m still just trying to lay flat on the board and paddle, but even that
is a big effort considering the board, in tandem with the huge waves, is doing
its best to “work” me. (Surfer lingo for
getting pounded by waves and pushed underwater.) I’m definitely getting my butt worked off,
but I’m making progress and slowly getting the balance of the board. In the meantime, I’m in an incredible
position to see my fellow dudes and wahinis doing some incredible surfing. In fact, they are surfing right towards me….in
fact, I’m in the “impact zone” meaning I’m in their line of surf and if I’m not
careful I’m going to get a mouthful of “hanging ten”….time to turn right!!! (Old Hawaiian saying, “Kaumaua tinai aka aka
oNo!” which means “Dude in impact zone means surfboard in a$$.”)
Okay, I’m out of the impact zone and on the line up…way the
hell on the end of the line up out of the way of the real surfers. I’m ready to surf! I watch the other surfers…as the right wave
comes along they quickly leap forward into a crouch then up to their feet and
they’re off! Wooty hoo!....err …Cowabunga! I know I’m going to have to practice this a
couple of times and I know I’m going to swallow a little sea water, but hey,
you‘ve got to pay your dues to become a surfer on Waikiki! Up I go.
Down I go. Up I go. Down I go.
(Old Hawaiian saying, “Upua kalakini kala kala pua” which means “For
every up there is a down.” No shit,
Sevngali!) I’m lucky I can swim pretty
good cause I’m doing a lot of underwater swimming not to mention swimming to
catch up with my board. And my feet keep
getting tangled in the cord so I’m having to do a lot of unwinding. Note: This is not my idea of unwinding!
I continue to practice my up and down routine…not because I
want to, but my ups only come with downs.
I was coming out of down and kind of into an up when I heard a yell
which made me look behind me. BIG
WAVE! Just as soon as I saw it, it had
me. The wave plunged me down and shot my
board up. Remember earlier when I told
you where I strapped my board to my ankle?
That strap is a nylon rope, about ten feet long, and it’s firmly
attached to my ankle and the back of the board.
It’s so you never lose the board and you always have a float if you get
in trouble. But, here’s what’s important…I’m
being pushed down into the water. The
board is shooting out of the water. We
each reach our perigee and apogee and then I think I hear this “TWONNG” as the
strap stretches past its limit. All of a
sudden I’m heading up and the board is coming straight back to me!!! Holy aloha!
(Old Hawaiian saying, “Disa sucka gonna hurt!” which means … Screw it, I
know what it means! These damn sayings aren’t helping a bit! Those old Hawaiians can take their poi and
mahola it in their luau!)
Anyway, back to me and the board. We are on a path to immediate intersection
when luckily (luck is relative) the waves start to tumble me over and over
wrapping my legs with the cord. This
alters the path of the board and we intersect almost lovingly me on the bottom,
the board on top. Whew! Of course, I’m still underwater in a fast
wave with my legs wrapped in cord, but that’s the lesser of the possible
conclusions I had just faced. (I’m not
going to even mention the shark thoughts that went through this landlubber’s
mind as my feet dangled off the end of the board throughout the experience.)
Somehow, I Houdinied my legs free, right-sided the board and
heaved myself on. I got my bearings and
realized that all the commotion had moved me only a few yards towards
shore. I turned around and paddled back
out to the lineup and decided that this is a cool spot…for watching the real
surfers do their thing. I propped myself
up on my board and just watched. What a
vantage point to watch some incredible surfing!
It’s amazing what these men and women can do seemingly
effortlessly! I was most amazed by the
surfers using the paddle boards. They
stand up on a shorter surf board and use a long paddle to get out to the lineup.
When a wave hits they surf on top of the
wave and use the paddle for precision steering.
It’s amazing to see them glide on top of the waves shooting in and out
of the curls at will. What a thrill to
watch…and to not attempt!
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| The picture of Exhaustion! |
Finally, it’s time to head in. I’m tired and sore and ready
to get off this board! I turn towards
shore and realize I've drifted farther out and way past where I left Mona. Lots of paddling to do so I get to it! Yes, conceptually I could have “surfed” my
way in, but that would have involved more ignominious falls and water swallowing but I had
enough thank you very much. At last I
got through the passage in the breakwater and was able to stand up. Ahhh….terra firma at last! I trudged up the beach, battered, bruised,
and full of water but secure in the fact that I was one of Them: A surfer dude. (Okay, so technically I was only up for a
milli-second two or three times, but milliseconds count in my world.) When I returned my board to the rental dude
he asked how it went. I just smiled and
flashed him the shaka sign. I was too
tired to do anything else.
When I got back to Mona I asked if she had been
watching. “Nah,” she replied. “You were so far out I really couldn't tell
which one was you so I just walked the beach.”
Score zero for impressing my wahini!
Of course, had she been watching the score would have been in the minus
20 range...unless she could have seen my cool moves under my surf board. She consoled me by taking me
to a nearby beach diner and buying me a rainbow shave ice. That ice would have felt good on my battered
body but I resisted the urge and enjoyed the sweet treat in a more conventional
way.
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| Surfer Dude's Reward |
We both had enough of the beach and headed for the hotel
pool. We spent several hours just
relaxing in the water and enjoying the sun.
Afterwards, we visited the Tiki Bar for great food and live music. A day well done!
Next morning we were famished. Time for a big breakfast. We had heard about “Eggs and Things” and
every time we walked by the place there was a line. Time to give it a try! The line was pretty long when we got there
but it was supposed to be THE place for breakfast on Waikiki. We had heard so much good we hadn’t even
bothered to read any reviews of the place.
(Can you see where this is going?)
We were in line for 45 minutes, no exaggeration. When we finally got to the head of the line
we had to order. Yes, you order before
you’re seated. Then you get into a line
to pay….yep pay AND TIP before you’re seated.
We were then seated at a little bar along a wall with a buzzer. When the buzzer went off we raised our
hands. The waiter brought our food to us
on paper plates with plastic knives and forks.
Yes, the food was good, but seriously?!?!? $28 for two eggs each, meat, and two pancakes
each…on paper plates. Even though we
didn’t read the reviews you can bet I wrote one!
Next up was Ala Moana Mall, the largest mall in Hawaii. It’s a multi-level open air mall and it’s
huge with hundreds of stores. Hundreds! Guess which store we hit first? In total, we visited two stores. Then it was time to go up the fourth floor
mezzanine for a cool beverage. We
ordered complementing pastel drinks and relaxed while talking to the
bartenders. Very nice!
We walked back to our hotel; past the Hilton Hawaiian
Village, through Ft. DeRussey Park and then along Waikiki, stopping for a
beverages and snacks as our whims desired.
Our dinner was sushi at Sensei. It’s a famous sushi bar in our hotel and on
this night it was 50% off…..if we can’t get it for free then 50% off will
do! We then walked over to the Moana
Terrace of our hotel and listened to live Hawaiian music until it was time to
turn in.
Aloha! (And Shaka,
Dudes!)
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